One cheesesteak: 900 calories, 40 fat grams

Also, even 13 is way too old to be competing in a fucking spelling bee.

I like this comment. Also, PLUG IN YOUR PHONE.

I am hopeful, albeit not expectant, that this is a harbinger for the major pro sports in the United States.

There are really not enough stars for this comment. I'd give out two if I could.

Maybe this would change if I made as much money as Michael Cole does, but I like to think you couldn't pay me enough to call my boss "sir."

"Can he play outfield?"

The problem with Bill Simmons at this point is twofold. First, his whole fan perspective is not nearly as novel as it used to be when he first started writing for ESPN.com, but he hasn't really adjusted his schtick at all. Second, as Tim pointed out, he lost his claim to represent the voice of the average fan when he…

I laughed really hard at this.

FanGraphs begs to differ. His first pitch strike percentage is 55.7%, right in line with his career of 55.4%. He's also seeing the same number of pitches in the zone as he has in his career. The only difference in his plate discipline numbers is that he is making contact with more balls thrown inside the zone.

We're all muts. Let's face it.

No disclosure necessary, full or otherwise. You don't need to mention that the sun rose in the east to discuss something that happened during the day.

I am probably overreacting to one game, but it feels to me that the Spurs just have too many weapons. Kawhi Leonard was a menace on both ends last night, and at one point made a beautiful bucket in the paint where he spun away from his defender and went up and under Collison. If Leonard plays like that the whole…

Then it's a good thing that's not what he was saying, like, not even a little bit.

This is great. Unless this is being cross-posted on Jezebel, in which case I am completely appalled.

What's more, he spent his entire episode on cupcakes eschewing exactly this type of elitism that tends to get imposed on foods that are supposed to be fun and simple.

I know! This shit never gets tolerated in the NBA.

There is a comment to be made about Sid Bream here, but almost 22 years later, it's still too soon.

You're not joking, but it's still funny. Look at 0:12-0:13. Deron's foot slips, because he's trying to change directions. End of story.

Argh, my bad. I just assumed the dude who stuffed LeBron on a potential game-winning dunk earlier this year would be protecting the hoop at the end of a playoff game. Let me revise to say that the Nets that were on the floor executed about as well as they could. And that I'm not surprised the former Net who put them…