I will happily dance on the Ashes of Facebook with the joy of a thousand burning suns.

Obviously we need to start arming the 13-year-old girls.

Landscape would be really dumb here. You are capturing a ski lift, which is almost entirely vertical in orientation.

...fly my lawnchair jellyfish parachute thingie...

WHERE IS YOUR GOD NOW, HIGHLIGHT TRUTHERS

You found an excellent wife

Good article! I’ll admit I only clicked cuz of boobs, though.

I love it when the pedantic grammar guy is insanely wrong about something basic

People Still Think Laurence Fishburne Is Really Morpheus From The Matrix

Then those people need to see Boyz n the Hood and maybe grow the fuck up.

People may know him as Morpheus, but I’ll always think that his best role was as Jules Winnfield in Pulp Fiction. Classic Fishburne.

In my day, people who were paid to influence others were called shills.

well, this explains why everything in my apartment is on fire.

I will promote Gizmodo to my 110 followers in exchange for staying out of the gray.

Time ran backwards until Jesus was born. Duh.

I’m sure that Miller will handle this historical subject with the deft, light touch that has characterized his work in the last couple decades.

Financing your phone at a 0% interest rate isn’t “stupid,” it’s the economically soundest approach to buying a phone.

As someone who lives in one of those 900 sq. ft. WWII house, expanded in the 70's to 1100 sq.ft. , it’s livable but can easily feel cramped. My kids are little and I can only imagine what it will be like when they’re teenagers and want to have friends over in the winter.

I found it oddly satisfying. Like this video:

We can't try it on monkeys?