Just a few off the top of my head:

I can assure you, I am 100% not afraid of being framed for a sex crime. And I'm not saying that false or mistaken allegations don't exist, but it's so easy to insulate yourself from that with the most minimal effort.

Okay, so I just got caught up to this point today, probably gonna watch the final episode here in a little bit. I've only read a few of these reviews and not many comments, so I don't know if other people have been raising this concern already, but does anyone feel like the script never quite takes the parking brake…

"Conservatives go off script like this. But liberals…liberals go of script like this!"

Spaghetti

Well, I'm sure they don't want to step on the toes of all the hilarious conservative satirists.

I used to work at a barbecue restaurant where it was "Boars" and "Sows." Incredibly, at least once a week a customer had to ask which one they were.

https://www.youtube.com/wat…

No kidding. They should have been begging Colbert to get on stage.

What happened to all the dudes from last week claiming we wouldn't think it was funny if he did it at the DNC? Because I thought that was pretty funny.

Damn Democrats always zigging when they should have zagged.

I think my point stands even with those modifications.

This was the first album I ever owned, on cassette, when I was like four years old, and to this day I've probably listened to it more than any other album. Tom Petty is great.

I almost regret all the shit I've said about Republicans over the course of my life. Romney was unqualified for a variety of reasons, but at least he wasn't a dangerous animal.

I can't stand to hear him talking about that stuff. "We're gonna get tough against ISIS." Oh holy fuck, I can't believe nobody ever thought of that before, what a brilliant idea.

Already you have a bunch of Republicans who for some insane, inexplicable reason want to go out of their way to associate terrorist attacks with Islam at large, as per the terrorists' wishes. As much as I hated Bush, I was looking back at some stuff from his presidency and he was really a model of restraint compared…

Not only did I vote for Obama in the 2008 primaries, but I (very briefly) met him and Michelle immediately after the first Democratic debate in Orangeburg, SC. He is literally the most charismatic person I've ever encountered. I did think his handshake was kind of weak, but mine was probably like the 5,000th hand he'd…

Haha yeah definitely, just let me get in a few more jokes about him being the new Mussolini and how I want to dump a bucket of cold diarrhea on his family and then I'll totally vote for him. You got me figured out.

I already said I was voting for Clinton, so I don't know why you're getting mad at me. The thought of a Trump presidency sends me into a panic. I'm just saying, when you have your convention and there are people protesting on the floor, that's a failure of the party, not a failure of the people. I would discourage…

Fuck that. It's her job to win over voters, not their job to fall in line. I voted for Sanders in the primary and now support Clinton, but that's my choice, not something I'm doing because I got guilted out of my own convictions. For months now I've been nervous about what I saw as certain risks with running Clinton,…