Listen, I might be the only star you get for this comment, but I appreciate you regardless.

What, you don’t enter your PIN number into LCD display on the ATM machine?

Spoiler alert: The unseen monster in “Bird Box” was actually Patrick Dempsey.

Dat 90's steering wheel hub is HUGE

Common Sense:
Either you have enough in savings to cover the cost of replacement, or get full coverage for your car.

[Clicks article.]

I would delete all features until it looked like a 1979 VW Rabbit.

No thanks.

Are all the flavors of Tide pods on sale?

Are all the flavors of Tide pods on sale?

“The compensation is a bit exorbitant but Adeli definitely deserves a fat settlement to make up for trauma of it all.”

[Dealer]: Shit. How much is this gonna cost me?

Guys, you forgot to blame this on sea level rise and income inequality.  Hurry and edit before the editors notice.

Reliability, cost, emissions, driveability, peak power. You can have some of those things but not all at the same time.

2001 called, it wants its “shogun” body kit back.

“There were also two ECUs, two fuel pumps, two fuel rails, two distributors, two mass air-flow sensors, two crankshaft position sensors, two coolant temperature sensors and two electronically controlled throttle bodies.” To me, this translates to two times the amount of things to potentially go wrong and need…

“According to a report from RideApart, here are ten random winter gloves available from Amazon through our affiliate marketing links.”

“If I break off a piece of the fender and sell it,”

Lets call it what it is. Begging on the internet. 

Man employed by Microsoft doesn’t understand how computers work. Actually sounds about right based on my experience with them.

Give me a nice savory pie instead. Liver, kidney or stargazy pie: