My boys Kaiden, Jayden, and Reighdon all disagree.

I know a Martin who goes by Art, so that’s also an option if he gets older and wants to drop the nickname ending in “y”.

Weird, my cousin’s kid’s first name is Gizmodo.

Aiden Phase is a cool name.

All of those are still better ideas than Ampersand Snapdragon.

I wanted Maximilian, but the wife said no. He could go by ‘Max’. No.

I feel like first to middle names has to flow. So after my wife and I settled on Harrison for our son, we knew we needed a one-syllable middle name (since Harry is NOT going to happen if we can help it). I literally scrolled through the list of the top 1000 boy names on my phone the night he was born and just said…

I’m named Angus and it’s served me well. No one even noticed that it’s “anus” with a G in the middle until I was like 22 and didn’t care any more. Also, “yeah, like the beef” is a useful spelling shortcut.

Just use the name of a relative/friend as a middle name. I have multiple middle names (common over here) and was named after my grandmothers, and my godmother. Had I been a boy, then my names would have been my grandfathers’, and my godfather’s. Simple, and passes the abovementioned tests.

The test for Jewish parents is that it must meet at least one of the following criteria:

You also want to try a possible name though The Name Game.

After kicking the tires on a bunch of names, from basic (Samuel) to awesome/weird (Napoleon Waldo), my wife and I decided on Marty (Martin). Yes, it rhymes with farty, but it also rhymes with smarty and party. It was also my grandfather’s name, so we know it works with the last name.

If we have a son I want to give him a strong, European name like Angus or Helmut but my wife won’t allow it.

Think twice about names that sound like bodily functions or private body parts.

Now you sound like Simon Pegg in Hot Fuzz.

I think that method falls under the “solution more costly than the problem” category.

Holy shit I love that word! (...yes, I googled it...)

Yeah, that was a little weird. Seemed really out of left field and apropos of nothing to randomly call out white men. I choose to believe the author was just sort of shoehorning in a comic they found funny, rather than just insulting a whole group for the hell of it.

“hey; numbnuts. i didnt get up so you could sit there. i got up so they could.”

i’ve said it.

do you want to give up your seat?

“HI, DO YOU WANT MY SEAT?”

end of article.