It’s also the ultimate drama, comedy, dramedy, rom-com, documentary, action, thriller, dish soap, and meat substitute. A little bit of something for everyone. 

I transport my leather baby in a skin covered car seat. It’s a long story.

How dare you

Runner up:

In the 80's, “communist” was synonymous with evil, bloodthirsty murderer. So I would argue that Red Dawn is the ultimate horror movie.

If it can outrun the commies, it can definitely handle some zombies. Now, commie-zombies are another matter. Those guys don’t mess around. 

This question was answered in 1984 via mankind’s crowning cinematic achievement, Red Dawn:

Nobody goes to IHOP on Sunday mornings. It’s too crowded. 

I like DT’s 300D suggestion. My brother had that same car when we were in high school. It was loud as shit and he had to start it like 48 hours in advance to let it warm up, but once we got rolling I felt like a KING.

Severely lacking in dynamism. 

You had me at tacos, swag, cervezas and stickers. Fourteen of each, please.  

Just think of all the people I could blind with that many LEDs at my disposal.

There’s a lot going on here. Most of it bad.

It takes a better man than me to write about premature detonation without making a single joke.

The irony is that once you earn enough money to graduate from the suits-and-hair-gel level of society, you end up back at sweat pants.

So, unless you actually work as a contractor or are an off-roading enthusiast, just buy a damn car.

This is a cry for help. Somebody needs to go check on BMW. 

An online-only source of automotive articles, opinions, and information? That’ll never work.

I’d go with plaid, but yeah, pretty much anything before matte black.