Mine’s the same as yours on the outside, but without the Explorer package. Inside, I’m going center console over bench seat. I’ve had benches in my trucks before and I prefer to have the storage space.

If I can ever Minority Report 2: The Reportening made, this could work.

It has to be that big. Twice a year I tow a 12-foot travel trailer. 

Bullshit. We’re the US of A and we make the rules. Big #1 foam finger right up the butthole of anyone who questions our authority.

That’s an uncomfortable and overpriced cough you got there. You should get that checked out.

Awesome on the outside, nasty and depressing inside. It’s perfect for me. 

I’m working on a treatment right now. If I can get Trailer Hitch and Fender Flares on board, this project might have legs.

Pity the poor tech at Firestone when you roll in for the free tire rotation special.

Nothing says “Adventure” like door handle film.

They may be useless, but dammit, those meatbags wear a jersey with the name of the state I live in! Go Arizona sprots team! 

What made you think of Missile Command? The fact that it was horribly frustrating and made you want to strangle someone, like these sleepy Tesla drivers? 

Buried all the way at the end of the piece, the truth finally comes out:

It is if you do it right. If you half-ass it like me, it’s not that bad. 

First day of Nissan Executive Training:

I tried to obtain sexy financing once, but a rather large and intimidating gentleman told me that cash up front was required. I ended up having to finance myself. 

That looks fun as hell. Sheer lunarcy. But Brad Pitt can’t be like Mad Max. It’ll have to be Smirking Max or Smoldering Max.

Low grade beef all around. 

I think I found a potential buyer. He said something about how he loved Cape Fear and had a brilliant idea. 

only used as a champagne cooler

Probably the usual: Handshake, photo op, grope, chit chat. The ol’ Grab and Blab.