Most of those are absolutely true. Except #2. Anyone my age grew up with Roger Moore as Bond for what seemed like an eternity. But he was not good. Even his early stuff was ok at best. Dalton really elevated the series IMO. I don’t see how anyone could think Moore was peak Bond, but hey, this planet is filled with…

More like Formula #2. 

I saw that one on Bring a Planet. Too rich (in iron) for my blood. 

You are thinking of Roger Moore.

Lazenby’s movie holds up pretty well, especially compared to the tripe they put out with that walking moisturizer bottle, Pierce Brosnan. 

Blasphemer. Dalton is king of the Bonds. 

Pierce Brosnan as James Bond brought the world nothing but heartache. We’re fortunate that we made it through those dark days. 

I can’t think of any jokes about cars here in America. Except for all Nissans, those are jokes. Really funny ones.

My grandpa, Raekwon, did most of the cooking. 

My grandma always said “never trust a car with two first names.”

Lovely idea, poor execution. Like a rusty guillotine.

Exactly. Those would be awful names for Cadillacs. 

If they had built it on a modified Beetle, at least they could have called it a Bug-atti. Ganesha is displeased.

It’s just jokes, people. I’ve never even been to upstate New York. I’m sure it’s just as awful as everyone says. 

What can I say? I miss the days when Cadillacs had powerful names that evoked their rich history. Names like Catera, Cimarron, and Allante.

Thanks. I thought so, too. 

As I was reading this, my vision got blurry and all I could see were T’s and V’s flying all over the screen. Without proper names I just can’t be bothered to care about Cadillacs. 

Wow, free clown college. That’s quite a deal, but maybe they want to set their sights a little higher before the kid is even born. Then, if they end up only being “pretty smart for Albany” that college fund can be used to buy a sports car fast enough to outrun the shame. 

BMW and Its Gigantic M8

Just get the 6.2L, pocket the difference, and buy a diamond-studded melon baller to scoop out your eyeballs so you don’t have to look at that abomination.