Yeah I have this image that even if I was ten feet from the hole, I’d have much more success “chipping” the ball by tossing a high-arc shot that would take two hops and stop within inches. Judging the speed when you roll a ball on the ground just seems impossible to me.

Isn’t there a difference between being undefeated and having a perfect season, though?

The important part of this story is that he went from 0 to asshole in about 5 seconds. Servers and staff everywhere will be happy to accommodate someone who is cordial and pleasant with odd requests, but not if you’re being a dick.

Doesn’t matter. The customer was being a twat. Nobody in food service should ever have to go out of their way to accommodate a twat.

So many people have peppered this thread with the “my dad owns a dealership” line, but this is the one that always gets me.

The episode they did with the frat-guy aliens is one of the greatest I’ve ever seen. It’s so fucking perfect. Look it up if you haven’t seen it.

I loved the sideways motion John Oliver gave with his hand as he said that. I only wish he was wearing a green Incredible Hulk glove.

Inspiring clip, but still not the most positive message Charlie Sheen has heard lately.

Not exactly what he meant.

I love this idea. Pinkham, take notice!

I agree insofar as telling the delivery driver in a funny tone “well that’s bullshit.” But that’s where it would and should end. You’re going to write an email because you didn’t get a straw? Sounds like you aren’t as lazy as you claim to be.

But see, SMH is what you don’t want to do in this situation.

A bowel resection is always red. So much red.

Having had the experience of working both as a bartender and in an operating room, I can tell you with wild certainty that “Improper handwashing can lead to safety concerns—but so can improper glove use” is absolutely accurate. If you don’t do either correctly, it only masks the problem.

God why didn’t I think of that. To this day anytime people bow in prayer I use it as quality time to count the loops on my shoe laces.

I can’t believe how far down I had to scroll before finding Duke.

For the longest time I thought he was a Mets fan, based solely on City Slickers.

I don’t care what the rest of you think, but I love my Cousins.

Well if it was just Poe’s law, then let a brother know next time instead of coming out guns blazing on the defensive.

Reread your first line and tell me with a straight face it doesn’t sound like snark.