Shower chair. I got one when I had a knee injury and found out how wonderful it is to sit down while showering because leg-shaving and foot-washing become magically easy instead of a balance challenge where failing = painful death.

I think a kip is a nap, so it’s vague. I mean there are naps and there are “naps,” right? Especially in the Cosmo world.

1. Do not forcibly take wages from the gun just because it owes you OR

So...guns require mean words to be spoken like incantations over them before they work? Or if he shot and killed you but never actually threatened you... um, you wouldn’t be legally dead?

I want someone to eradicate motor vehicles. Why are we not bombing car lots? They’re like a battlefield where a metal army is mobilizing to destroy America.

Yes, that is really a necessary feature! I was also looking for some sort of fold-out function for the back seat so that we can sneak into the parking lot and service the boss on our lunch hour--all without wrinkling our clothes! Also: condom holders. Also: seats that vibrate like they mean it.

I was thinking about that very thing. I was pulled over a couple of months ago (middle-aged white woman here). My purse was open on the seat beside me. If I had put my hand in there for no obvious reason, the cop might have put his hand on his gun, might have told me to move slowly or asked what I was doing. Might…

Yet it wasn’t enough. I wonder if they were just going to shoot him no matter what he said or did and at what point that became a foregone conclusion--when they first saw him? When they first spoke to him? Surely it wasn’t just a plan they made at the beginning of the day-- “Hey, for sure let’s murder the first black…

I’ll say it again: there’s no indication that he committed a crime. Why did he have his hands up? If my car was broken down and a cop car approached, I would NOT expect anyone to tell me to put my hands up! That is not a standard pose for citizens in need of help--so putting his hands down in no way represented a…

I don’t understand why he had his hands up; there doesn’t seem to be any indication he committed a crime or even that they thought he might have.

Shouldn’t libertarians want women to be free to have periods without the government making money off it?

Seems so.

...because Dr. Oz’s studio is actually a Hellmouth? Let’s get Buffy in there and let her do her job already!

Doesn’t Dr. Oz have something called a Truth Tube? I forget what it measures but I think it’s meant to give you all your health stats.

That’s what Sarah Palin did and it got her laughed off the platform. They are very much alike, but the response from the public is so, so different....

There’s a lice place? You don’t have to do it all by yourself any more? I had no idea. What is said lice place called?

As opposed to people not trying to run away, I assumed.

Is this guy you?

I walked outside after using Tigi Rockaholic dry shampoo and got a whole lot of bee attention. The stuff smells like oranges, so I figured that was it. Luckily I was able to walk inside without any of them stinging me or following me in, but it was disconcerting.

Wait, are you telling me the other fifth-graders did NOT snicker at the cartoon dick erection? Were they all taking Thorazine or something?