As a parting gift Alabama sent Kiffin a bus to his home but it kept pulling away a little bit as he approached the door.

Well he is fat, white, and proven to be below average. He has buffalo bills written all over him.

*PENIS SOMEHOW ELECTED PRESIDENT

I heard “Closing time” by that 90s asshole singer (i refuse to remember is name right now) a zillion time at the start of my shift everyday during my awful Staples era. Fuck that song.

Worked at a movie theater the summer of A League of Their Own Madonna’s This Used to be my Playground. You’re my brethren.

I worked retail during the R. Kelly’s Space Jam “I Believe I Can Fly” holiday season.

I name thee ... brother.

I used to work retail. They played “Emotions” over and over. This song deserves this death in public.

“One 20 second clip is both ‘Me at the beginning of 2016' AND ‘Me at the end of 2016. The 15 slide Buzzfeed story.”

Anyone and everyone who knows history knows we were planning on renovating the White House that summer anyways. We let you do it. It was a diversion strategy General MacCarthur brilliantly created.

Whatevers. It’s all good

He buys in bulk from Carl Paladino.

Never stopped. Back to you, Tom.

We took our daughter to a WNBA game for her birthday and the men’s room was empty every time I went in there. It was so luxurious!

I am watching George Karl, and I’m trying to figure out, What the hell is wrong with this guy? My conclusion is that George Karl is getting too much attention.

Easy there Skip.

This doesn’t help in my quest to dislike Kevin Durant

Nobody should be putting in this kind of effort to NOT give Warriors fans something to cry about.

Don’t know if you are referring to the book or an actual purpose driven life, but pretty sure I don’t have either.

Don’t know if you are referring to the book or an actual purpose driven life, but pretty sure I don’t have either.