Awesome! Two Cleveland championships in one year.

My buddy once went to a prostitute, he asked her how much. She said it would be $100 per hour. He said okay, but I really just want to sit there and talk. She said that was totally normal and asked what he wanted to talk about. He said well I love football, my favorite team is Cleveland. She said, oh that’s $150.

I’m not sure how desperate I’d have to be to talk to a woman about the Browns.

I read Hutton’s “I’m ticked...” in William H. Macy’s best Jerry Lundegaard voice.

“I bet I could get a job running Cleveland’s scouting department.”

The rest of the dinner was slightly awkward but fuck it, I would’ve been more comfortable if he said he had founded ISIS.

If Walton’s star rises just a little more and Affleck’s star falls a little more someday Affleck will be playing Walton in a gritty, inspiring sports biopic and it will be really magickal.

Every time I see Pacman Jones on the field I am surprised he is still in the league and not dead/in prison.

When the Browns finish 0-16, we should just not have them next year. Just no more Browns. Get rid of the Browns.

Lamar Jackson might want to REALLY consider staying in school and not entering the NFL draft this year.

Yeah I know, I swear I remember making exactly that comment sometime in the last six months. But, I like to think Washington State has more collective sense than the country at large.

Don’t forget daycare. Ohio just passed that one.

Most people I know would be thrilled to get a letter from the President elect.

My dad absolutely canceled my birthday party once. Not only that, he made me phone all the friends I’d already invited and explain to them that the party was canceled, and why (because my report card had been middling).

I do too. I think it’s great for a psychopath to be roaming the sidelines at Michigan. I also appreciate that his rage is the source of his success and the reason he can’t seem to win big games.

Goddamn, I hate this motherfucker.

I want to believe that Urban Meyer’s wife calling him in the middle of his press conference to tell him to pick up a gallon of milk is them basically dunking on Harbaugh after the win.

Give em the ol fist

He had 131 yards with Josh McCown throwing to him. In a Browns uniform. I dunno he seems ok?

The majority of voters in both states voted for Trump. That makes both Ohio and Michigan cesspools.