This is how I feel whenever I see an adult wearing a “Keep Calm and Chive On” shirt

Imagine being older than 15 and describing yourself as a “stoolie” unironically. It’s breathtaking.

I love that Stoolies are treating publishing PFTCommenter’s real name like she just unveiled that Batman is Bruce Wayne.

1. Publishing a celebrity’s name is not doxxing

Milwaukee sure doesn’t mean “the good land” anymore.

In a related story, the NFL has just passed a rule saying that all of their players must agree to be tased for any reason or face fines.

All these public outbursts are beginning to make me think Richie Incognito may be adopted.

I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that it all started going downhill for Boston when Lauren Theisen referred to them as the ‘Tics.

I’m talking about the ball. I anthropomorphize sports equipment.

Counterpoint: Public shaming may be the tool most appropriate to change not only his behavior, but that of the next racist.

First you say he’s too good for the minor leagues, then you say he should be playing for the Blue Jays. Which is it?

And they only won 65 games and the #1 seed by 7 games! Fuckin’ suckers.

No disrespect intended to Albert Pujols, but I wonder if the Angels would be better off letting Ohtani DH for himself and letting Pujols rest on Sundays, as God intended.

I’m sorry, I don’t know what that is.

Sadly, there isn’t.

“Who the fuck is Tom Brady?”

You have the ability to walk out.

I dare you to find me someone more self-righteous and dead inside than a higher education administrator. At least the vampire capitalists are honest about their intentions.

The animal is fine. It’ll wake up tomorrow and it’ll be like this never happened.

Computer.