No, no. Trump has a very well established "no fatties" policy.

JFC… These motherfuckers have the audacity to call us snowflakes when they're the ones who take literally everything as a personal attack? Someone pass me a flamethrower, I wanna go melting.

He really did. Did you even fucking read the thing? I have. His central thesis is that diversity is bad. How is that not anti-diversity?

Who the fuck is writing any falsehoods about it? I have read the memo, and it's pretty fucking disgusting. This guy is 100% an alt-right fool who thinks that he's being oppressed by giving rights to women and minorities. He outright stated that women are biologically disposed to be better with people, and…

So the opposite of his dick?

It's a stick of dynamite. I was gonna leave the room.

No, you're pretty close. But is that better? I'd rather my pieces of shit not try to disguise themselves as polite, functioning, contributing members of society. Shit in sheep's clothing, if you will.

No, I'm definitely not going to say it's fair. Basically, my only point in all of this is that, to me at least, even as someone who utterly loathes Jeffrey Lord, the intent of his tweet was 100% apparent. And, warranted or not, on the basis of that intent, I don't feel compelled to damn him for that tweet. But… on…

So this movie isn't about Nick Cave's worst album?

Oh, I am. I guess it's just that, much like getting Capone on tax evasion, it's somewhat anticlimactic and dissatisfying. Like nailing a child rapist on a jaywalking charge.

Fair enough.

I'm torn on this. On one hand, Lord is a total piece of shit, and I'd like to see him beaten to a bloody pulp (and I'm happy for any excuse to see him shit-canned). On the other hand, it seems pretty clear to me that, while ill-advised for a person whose stock-in-trade is defending actual Nazis, his tweet was…

I've got something he can pivot on right here! What? No, of course it's not my dick, I wouldn't want to touch him.

Yeah, if it was women, it was probably JWs, not Mormons.

Hey, I'm a fan of Tool and I'm not a… wait… nevermind. Carry on.

Hey, there's always room for improvement, you know? Gotta want to better yourself.

Probably because it was "impersonating" or something.

It should be pretty clear that he's Chaotic Neutral, bordering on Chaotic Evil.

Yeah, he seems like he'd be a cuddler. Elba seems more like a "glare at you in stony silence until you gather your clothes and leave" kinda guy.

Harrison Ford "Weird Al" to help me move, Patrick Stewart to get drunk with, and Chris Evans as my Kinsey exception (he wins out over Idris Elba merely because he seems like he'd be more gentle).