Oh, it’s deeply horrifying, but you gotta love those turns of phrase.

Truly, nobody cuts to the heart of what a oafish buffoon Trump is quite like you, David. This had me in stitches:

Wait until Lisa Salters shows up in September 18-feet-tall and weighing 40 tons due to some careful genetic experiments by ESPN to give her “the ultimate vantage point of the game” and noting fun broadcast gimmicks like “her terrible visage will be the last thing the losing team sees”.

Unfortunately the NFL’s answer to these questions is “that’s not my problem,” and that’s why they’ll never make any substantial headway in this area.

You joke about Crime Points but wait until the NFL does this and makes Crime Points tradeable, allowing the Patriots to play the next Aaron Hernandez during his murder trial without getting punished due to smart draft-day maneuvering.

I dunno, man. The North was getting its ass firmly and resoundingly kicked until the Derek Fisher 0.3 Shot Of Stabbings occurred.  

Yeah, insomuch as there CAN be an organized defense against this army, I GUESS it worked, but it’s not like Winterfell didn’t completely and totally get its ass kicked! Every plan they had—Dothraki trying to cull the charge, Dragon air support, legions of Unsullied holding the front, fire trenches—all failed pretty…

Oh yeah. Famously, that was his speech to Cam when they drafted him. And in 2016—at tail-end of the Gettleman/Richardson era—they hired Frank Luntz to republican up Cam in interviews. There’s certainly a pattern here! 

Hey man, I vote. Since I’ve turned 18, only once did I not vote in an election—the 2014 mid-term. In the chaos of moving across the state the month before the election, I forgot to update my registration and was unable to—much to my chagrin. In a general sense, you’re right. Young adults, especially in the large…

Haskins also predicted, when he was 11, that he’d be the starting QB for Ohio State.

Where would you put him then, with his resume? Pretty much EVERY player with multiple Finals MVPs/a regular season MVP/will end up top 8 in scoring are Top 20 guys. Steph probably will end up higher than him all-time! But KD is certainly worthy of at least top 20. 

His resume is already a Top 20 resume in a vacuum. To date, he’s at an MVP (and 3 Runner-ups), two titles/Finals MVPs, 6 All-NBA 1st teams, ROTY. Plus, conservatively, he’s going to finish Top 8 in all-time scoring, if not Top 5—he’s currently 6th all-time in career PPG, so I think it’s safe to say he’ll finish around…

it’s wild. he has literal hundreds of millions of dollars and will go down as one of the 20 best players of all time, if not higher, and still he’s miserable. Just log off, Kevin! You don’t need to dunk on the teen who called you soft on Instagram! It’s REALLY not that big of a deal!

There’s an unfortunately vocal minority of the fanbase that detests Cam and thinks he’s not a “winning player” despite this being, by far, the most successful era of the franchise’s history, largely due to his productivity. But I’d say, overall, Panthers fans are Pro-Cam and, even if we all KNOW he’s flawed, love him…

And then when he had another one who Was Ready, he swiftly advanced to the Conference Finals and had a good shot at pushing the Warriors ruined by some untimely (and some might say malicious) injuries.

Yeah.... As a Panther’s fan, I lived through a Gettleman Era, and this DEFINITELY is the case. He’s a guy who let Steve Smith, DeAngelo Williams, and Josh Norman walk because they “weren’t the right voices in the locker room” all while they still had solid production ahead of them. The only thing “wrong” with their…

Bill Simmons told a story once where Magic, for whatever reason, couldn’t tweet to his account because he was busy and out of the country. Unfortunately for Magic, the Dwight Howard trade happened, so Magic’s social media coordinator reached out to Simmons being like “Magic needs you to post some tweets for him on…

Yeah man, as I said below I’m gonna vote for whoever wins the Democratic nominee because 1) I’m not an idiot and 2) my state (CO) is conceivably a swing state, even if recent state elections probably paint it solidly Blue.

Yeah man, I’m going to vote for whatever democrat wins the primary because I’m not an idiot. But expecting the bare minimum of the party and just accepting whatever slop they throw at us is exactly how we got the catastrophe of 2016.

As much as I agree that giving Donald Trump a second term would be unfathomably catastrophic, if all the Democratic party has to offer is “this guy can win” then what the hell is the point of the party?