But the Nazis only let you do it in October.

I know a diabetic who at an NFL bag check who had to give up a ziploc bag of crackers to keep him from being hypoglycemic. How did this guy get Frosted Flakes inside?

That's only if Jimmy Graham does it.

10 bucks says the NFL declares this illegal next year.

Fox is goose-stepping here with the "this is actually a pretty even game aside from the 4 turnovers" talking point. Are they really that afraid to talk trash about Jerry Jones?

Is "Johnny I Never Finished Better Than Third In My Division in College" taken?

18 wheelers who cut you off at the last possible moment and then take 7 minutes to pass another 18 wheeler, take an extra two minutes to get back in the right lane—and there were no cars behind you for half a mile.

Why don't they just ban Sean Payton for life and get it over with?

CBS sends their #1 team to New York City to cover two shit teams that nobody wants to watch.

I'm sure the media will show their usual restraint in covering this.

Well, he won't be a bigger distraction than their attention whore owner there.

They have become the AFC Cowboys. In other words, they could be playing some shit team like the Raiders or Titans, and CBS will send Jim Nantz and Phil Simms to the game anyway and broadcast it to like 75 percent of the country.

Wouldn't Worker and Parasite be more appropriate?

Why exactly is it "unfortunate?" One paragraph later, you said the position was too deep and an undrafted free agent outplayed him. Are you suggesting that they were supposed to keep him anyway?

First year in SEC under Sumlin: 3rd in SEC West

Thank you, Miami, for taking a chance on Daunte Culpepper. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Last night just confirms what I told everybody for the last two years and nobody wanted to believe me:

He was on the back cover of some New York tabloid today. AMERICA MUST KNOW ABOUT THIS!

The biggest reason I hate the Jets is because the media thinks that America finds Rex Ryan as interesting as they do. You'll hear some ignorant tease on ESPN like "YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT REX RYAN SAID TODAY!" Well, you know what? Outside of the metropolitan New York area, none of us really give a shit about what…

Playing on my Jim Caldwell theme, another of the big reasons the Saints have a Lombardi Trophy was because Brad Childress is so stupid and incompetent that all he had to do to get to Miami was not have 12 players on the field after calling a timeout to call that specific play.