If I smoked weed and I failed a drug test, I would be fired from my job. I know that. I don't agree with it. I don't like it. But you know what I don't do? I DON'T FUCKING SMOKE WEED BECAUSE IT'S NOT WORTH IT. If you know the rules and you don't have enough respect and self-control to follow them, and you have to…

Serious question: do you think that they would have been lighter if there was no DUI after the third offense? I know alcohol is irrelevant to the discussion on banned substances, but that was my "come on, dude" moment.

I like to be progressive on many issues, and I think the fear of marijuana is waaayyyy overplayed, but come on. Josh Gordon is either an addict or a fucking imbecile.

My only child was born 4 days before the last Lions playoff victory. I am now a grandfather.

The ONLY reason the Saints have a Lombardi Trophy is because of Jim "Run Mike Hart on 3rd and Short When You Have Joseph Addai and Donald Brown, and Peyton Manning Is Your Quarterback, and Give the Saints the Ball Back in FG Range" Caldwell.

Daniel Snyder wants a new stadium? I bet he wants someone else to pay for it. Say, that reminds me of a joke....

Roger Goodell responded by awarding this hypothetical new stadium the 2019 Super Bowl.

Where's the mandatory "white girl, black guy, Asian girl, hispanic guy hanging out with some vaguely ethnic looking professor in front of the admissions building" shot?

Looks like a bunch of taxpayers are about to be scalped.

I like how for almost a quarter-century from the exact moment Vince Lombardi left the team to the exact moment they traded for Brett Favre, they were basically the equivalent of post-Modell Browns, and that entire period of the team's history is swept under the rug. I wonder how many lifelong Packers fans could name…

If 500 retired NFL players sue the league for a combined 300 million dollars, how many games should Sean Payton be suspended? #newmath

Not with this one. It just rallied people behind it because they knew how ignorant this was. If you're from Louisiana, you know what they're trying to say is that this spice is so good it'll make you crazy.

Actually, this is only the second most ignorant thing the NFL did this week.

I heard that this decision was part of The Hollywood Liberal Conspiracy, along with Common Core and vaccinations.

Unibrow

That Vikings D-lineman just asked #79 whether he showered with Michael Sam.

You make just as much money if you sell one of those seats for $500 as you do if you sell 50 of those seats for $10. #capitalism!

So...they're trying to get ready for the regular season, and ESPN reporters are getting in your face asking about your shower habits. Nope, not a distraction that the other 31 teams are facing AT ALL.

Roger Goodell gave this shithole the 50th Anniversary Super Bowl, sight unseen.

Always my favorite: