Playing in Ecuador? He just keeps going and going. There’s no quito in him. That guayaquil himself before he retires.

Caucuses were covered in depth (and very accurately) on both “The West Wing” and “House of Cards.” That woman in the white turtleneck should not be photographed, ever.

For those unaware of the context of the Chewbacca mask...

My favorite thing about this is that sometime around Lewis she had to get a new marker.

Ciara already tried a Future upgrade; it didn’t take.

This motherfucker is so corny I swear Congress is gonna subsidize him in the next farm bill.

Glitches in his programming. Future upgrades will make it even harder for him to fail the Turing test.

Selma is still the hottest woman alive.

Our solar system is not symmetrical. So there’s that.

“Perfect symmetry” is redundant. It’s like saying “insufferable ESPN personality.”

Francesca then closed the show yesterday by listing all the stops on the 7 train and knocking over a Diet Coke

Meanwhile, over on FAN, Mike Francesa spent 22 minutes thinking out loud about what kind of entree Cam Newton would pick for his wedding. “The salmon... maybe the salmon.... but fish, you know.... maybe the poahk?”

Most surprising part of the headline.

Giselle: “My husband cannot throw the fucking ball and catch balls in the face at the same time.”

Are you saying Mark Jackson shouldn’t be making love to anything under “21"? Surely the Holy Bible, which was written a few hundred years ago, is sex-age appropriate!

Ordinarily I’d support your liberal extremism, Chid, but there’s a reason it's called poker.

I’ve watched Miller before and knew he was good. But watching yesterday felt like I had the TV set at 1.5x normal speed — like the refresh rate was broken. Absolutely insane.

I love my Patriots, but hot damn does Denver deserve all the credit for this game. Their defense played as close to perfectly as they could. Miller was truly terrifying and the Pats O-line had no answers at all in that game.

Uh... the Patriots won the Super Bowl last year after signing Revis. The Broncos are in the AFC championship after signing Ware, Talib, and Ward two offseasons ago.

In all fairness to Thompson, he thought the depth at running back was going to be the best in the league given Eddie Lacy came to camp twice the man he used to be.