You forgot to show the image. But I’ve got you covered.

H1 Hummer. It’s unreal that a vehicle that big can be so cramped inside. I have no idea how soldiers in full battle rattle fit in those things.

OK, let’s fully restaff the embassy and get to work on repealing the embargo law. 

The US Government seem fixated on it being a sonic device - but the Russians are experts in EM field manipulation. They created the tokamok after all. At the right frequency if you can create a 3d interference pattern from having multiple projectors, you can fry/freeze very specific things down to a few centimeters in…

Lots of people do. It’s brand new. People expect paint blemishes on a used car, but brand new should be spotless.

Watches are fashion accessories at this point. Sure there’s the odd mariner/diver/surfer/aviator/adventurer types who may legitimately need some fairly esoteric function beyond basic chronology, but let’s not kid ourselves: ever since the mass-market uptake of cell phones, watches are mostly just jewelry.

Bumper stickers are more engaging than watches. 

Also just remember that Opponaut Archduke Maxyenko made this gem, which almost nobody gets when I wear it in public:

My 2011 wagon got totaled during Harvey. I still have the insurance money sitting in the bank because it’s near impossible to find a wagon that hasn’t been modified by some flatbilled vaping dudebro and I just can’t bring myself to buy the new sedans. I’m a car guy, love sports cars, and I’ve been tooling around in a…

Build quality was lousy back then. They put three or four hubcaps on every wheel, expecting you to lose one on every corner, so you’d arrive with some still attached. 

Impressive, but I’m holding out until GymkhanaELEVEN, in which he’s rumored to hoon a retired, modified Bagger 228.

With that styling, they should have named it AMG GT R BRO

This is legit just an M6. The price is on par with an M6, the power is around the same, the styling is different but I could see this being an evolution of the 6 if they didn’t call it an 8. 

Right? It’s also why so many car ads put water on the pavement in the ad — it just looks better. The lights, the reflections. Magic. A gas station that looks skanky during the day looks like a futuristic UFO landing site at night. The lights, the colors, the contrast.

I’ve lit my marlboro cig with an IRS bill. Does that count?

Truly spoken like a man who’s never lit a $400 cigar with a flaming $100 bill.

Close enough

oh good... it was just one of the new ones...