I think Dean knew what Grindr is but didnt wanna disclose bc hes super discreet, 7inches clean/cut, ddf and cant host.

I think it’s called Hosr

Is there a Canadian dating app called Hoser?

something something five-hole something something two-man advantage something something Zamboni rides

Jon Gruden will tell you about all the guys he has seen on Grindr.

Think bigger. This is culture war programming, not sports.

I like how their alternative to the coin toss resulted in a season ending injury before the very first game.

Both! Players will be required to stand for the anthem, but players will be encouraged to express themselves. Players that don’t stand will be body slammed into the Spanish announcers table and assessed a 15v yard penalty. The announcers will be deported.

I think one team will wear red, white, and blue and stand at attention for the anthem while proclaiming how much they love America and the other team will be made up of communists who wipe their ass with the flag during the anthem

Global Warming has caused the North Pole icepack to disappear and Amazon/Santa, Inc. are invading Antartica. Because while Antartica’s ice pack is also melting, it has real land.

don’t forget undoing whatever the black guy did.

These guys just probably lit a match in the Middle East and now they’re models of caution and moderation?

Jesus, Donald. Don’t be a bitch just because you were told your boyfriend couldn’t come.

Pole shift occurs and places the poles at the equator. Both the santas and penguins flee their melted home, and battle to claim the new territory.

Here’s the definitive answer.

In the great Mall Santa Culling of 2032 when Shopping Malls became totally obsolete. The real Santa built a magic wall all around the North Pole to not let in any of the disenfranchised drunken and now out of work for 4 seasons of the year, migrate from the south.

When the world and other…

It started when those shithead santas levied a 45% tariff against toys made in the south pole, as a punishment for mattel and hasbro moving manufacturing jobs there. Attacks against penguin immigrants in the north have been on the uptick ever since the christmas collapse of 2007, with the North Pole government blaming…

The equator, obviously.

but, but... Santa lives at the North Pole and penguins live at the South Pole. How does this epic battle royale start and where does it take place?

If you are a penguin and feeling suicidal, please call 1800-226-8359. That’s 800-CAN-TFLY.

Shit, the War on Christmas is real