jakejenssen
onetonjake
jakejenssen

+1 Pantone sample.

Justin Timberlake reminds me of a Amish farmer who just found out what being gay is and REALLY LIKES IT

So it appears the only way to keep Carroll Shelby from signing a Cobra glovebox is to hide the car from him.

I’m relatively certain he is actually made out of lutefisk

Drew’s skin tone looks like there’s an Instagram filter named “Belly of a Frog” constantly being applied.

Nii-ugh. Hold on, Niiiiiaaaah. Nnnnnniiiiiiahhhh.

I fell asleep thinking about it last night and just as I was drifting off I came to the realization that some sort of pig skin had to be involved.

There are plenty of recipes out there. So you’re welcome to experiment. But this is the one I developed. I’ve made it seem more complicated than it is, just because I don’t know how intuitive other people are with cooking. My husband would need three more pages, a picture of the jackfruit cans and directions to the

As someone who buys liquor based on bottle design, I feel like I would have eventually purchased that. (I know, I know but you could sell me a dead cow if the box it came in was nicely designed)

“The president noticed that I had been skimming the pool for hours without a break in my cut off shorts and no shirt. He asked if id like to come inside and cool off and have a glass of sweet tea. I said yes and he said ‘Great, you go make the tea and bring it to my bedroom where ill be fucking my daughter, Ivanka’”

I live in Wexford. Smaller intersections seem worst for me. Where Pine creek crosses 19 north used to be the worst, but they went and created an actual left turn lane, so that’s fixed. I get apoplectic when everyone doesn’t get out into the intersection. I would have died young, but I’m already old.

Get the fuck into the intersection. In Pittsburgh people NEVER do this and if there’s one lane you can’t get around them. Makes me fucking nuts.

I think I just made a bootleg DVD cover .....

I’m eagerly tucking away the King Harvest factoid, and I know EXACTLY the drunk know-it-all I will truth slap with it. *wrings hands with glee*

“Just like fries belong in a gyro.”

In the greater-Cincinnati area, there is a breakfast meat called Goetta. I grew up eating that stuff and make sure to get myself some whenever I’m visiting up there. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Goetta