I thought only Taco Bell served explosive food.

I knew once Deadspin started covering fucking soccer that fencing couldn’t be far behind. 

If it weren’t vegetarian, they wouldn’t call it “tossing salad”.

Burger King is a Canadian based company (they merged with Tim Hortons a few years ago and did some legal wiggling so they can avoid paying US taxes.) Shameful. You’d think Trump would know that and could find a Russian company to do the catering.

reminds of some good advice I got years ago that’s saved me a lot of trouble over the years:

I enjoyed this trailer, when does the movie come out?

Seems like this is an update to the old way VW used to say “fuck you”:

Apple has become the gadget company for people who don’t care about tech.

It doesn’t take my data, and sell it on the open market.

My German is rusty.

As are most of my other things. 

...his tibia and fibula were broken, and that he’s out for the year

That looks more like snew.

I can’t wait for the 30 for 30:

He’s a inexperienced head coach, who is now labeled as Toxic with the death of a player hanging over him, helming a middling program that is currently pulling in the 13th rated recruiting class in the Big 10. Unless he can schedule Texas for 12 games a year, he’ll last until that buyout number is acceptable to the…

A coach has a BBQ at his house with recruits and the NCAA is all over it. A coach kills one of his players, and keeps his job.

Because it’s a huge pain in the ass to take your car into a dealer for service when the dealer is only open the exact same hours you’re required to be at work. 

Because when your 2015 Pathfinder is shuddering like an out-of-control blender at low speeds, and it takes a year for the manufacturer to figure out what to replace despite many trips to the dealer, you sort of get worried about the long-term reliability.

No it doesn't, this actually got finished!

“Rammed when Parked”

but the nagging effects of gravity starts slowing a bullet down the moment it leaves the gun barrel.