She has Benjamin Button Disease.

Hey Jenny Slater... Hey Jenny Slater...

Not the mama!

You were thinking of Charles Bronson

They even named U2's Songs of Innocence album of the year.

Made me think of the 90's kids movie Shazam starring Sinbad.

“You will remember to wash your hands before you eat anything?”

The only people who heard it were underpaid employees who have no say in the recipes of their pizzas or the corporate policies they have to abide by.

In 15 years Young Sheldon will replace our currency. “That’ll be 60 Young Sheldons for these apples.”

Ya can’t cancel the Army shows! We already got viewers mad about athletes disrespecting the flag! You think the networks want to anger those proud patriotic Americans?!?!

According to a Penn dorm-mate of his, Don was drunk all the time in college and got the nickname “Diaper Don” due to his tendency to piss his pants after passing out.

I’m surprised he took her trick-or-treating at all considering Republicans don’t like taking handouts.

Pretty much... the exceptions being Tom Hanks, Jeff Bridges, and the kid who plays Manny on Modern Family.

And its own line of fidget spinners!

She’s the next Tom Hanks.

Pretty, pretty good playlist.

She’ll just put Tom Hank’s face over Spacey’s

People still make that floating bag joke.

Bryan Singer digitally takes out Spacey in Superman Returns

When Loudoun County learned how much she got in that settlement deal, dollar signs popped out of their eyeballs.