My science teacher told me that Sodium Phosphate is found in the tears of mediocre students. He also used to throw chairs at us when we would talk.

I actually thought "confirmed bachelor" was old-timey code for "gay."

I didn't say you have a dick.

Totally off subject but my son asked after she brought back summer why didn't her dress melt? Because afterall she remade it for herself with her ice magic...shouldn't it melt?

I can't remember which Dirt Bag it was, but it described this particular Beiber look as "wearing a bucket hat and a bandana around his neck like a little baby at the beach". I read that and barked out laughing so loud at work that I actually woke a guest. Without ever even needing to see the picture. And now that I've…

Its too tight in the bust and arm openings. Her poor armpit fat, it never did anything to anyone.

I had hope and now he has delivered. Thanks (non-ironically) Obama!

Um, it's news because it's a pretty fantastic feat to carry any human being inside of your body and expel it in any way, let alone one that weighs as much as a medium-sized dog.

Wow, you're just hanging out in every thread, calling a newborn infant fat… you're not a good person. I feel bad for you. I hope you find a way to get over your issues with body image, but please don't project them onto an infant.

Ibuprofen? Good lord, give the woman real drugs! Fun ones!

....did you just call a newborn infant obese?

A healthy baby is born to delighted parents. What is not to celebrate?

I love how you just determined this entire family's health history by just looking at them. Talent.

OH NOEZ! FATTIES! We should hide them and this giant baby in a cave of shame.

The Boston Globe story linked in the article has a photo which, if you saw it, would reduce your surprise at the headline by about 60%.

The reporter had to be nothing short of Cronkite caliber to resist saying "That's what she said"

Seriously. I stayed away from this stupid thing because I didn't want to deal with the shitstorm that would come my way if I defended him, but it amazes me anyone thought this was real to begin with. Not because of the character aspect of it, but the execution part.

Isn't the simple answer here to just not go to every wedding you're invited to? I've been invited to destination weddings/showers/parties and it is always really easy: Sorry "X" - I'd love to celebrate with you but I/we just can't afford to do that right now. I hope you have an amazing day - I can't wait to see…

30 seconds is torture. A minute is more torture. Our Pilates trainer makes us do it for a minute at the end of class - you know, when you're already wiped out - but it makes you both strong and cute with good posture after you've bee doing it for awhile, so there's that.