Forever just the worst.

I avoid buying palettes that come with blush at all costs, but that's because I have never in my life ever used blush, so it's always a total waste. I'm Irish—our blush is called "evoke any emotion—or cold wind—in me and wait ten seconds."

I was really hoping there would be a line for abnegation that turns out to just be empty when you open it. Because of how they don't wear any makeup.

I saw New York Pizza and felt super smug. Then he made his guess. What the fuck.

It had to be done

I swear I thought the answer was going to be "New Jack Swing"

I associate it with Lil Wayne.

My vote for sizzurp was in honor of DJ Screw. Do young people really associate it with Bieber first and foremost?

Vodka tampons seem like the worst possible idea. That's the part of my body that makes the worst decisions while drunk; I don't want to be an enabler.

Setting aside the fact that you really shouldn't be taking upskirt photos at all, can we just talk about how some fucking creep shot up a 15-year-old's skirt?

A canned dress and flip flops.

It's totally the "Stride of Pride". Or it should be. :-)

Pffbbbttttttt.

No. I used to think so, but now I think she's gonna pull a Keith Richards and live forever while getting progressively more wizened and leathery until she resembles an old boozed-up crackhead Galapagos tortoise.

Here's a conundrum:

St. Peter, nothing. I'm pretty sure Jesus will be waiting with a "Depart from me, I never knew you."

" But while the debate gets caught up in the intricacies of cultural sensitivity, savior complexes, and neocolonial infiltration of ideologies, doing the right thing is not a colonial concept"

I literally just woke up and reading the headlines on Jez is what I do each morning while trying to open my eyes completely. So keep that in mind when I say I thought you were totally serious about Battlefield Earth on Ice and got irrationally upset and excited at the same time.

"I expect I'll soon be receiving the nomination notification for Investigative Journalism."