staggering outside in the predawn gloaming with a buffalo hide wrapped around his shoulders

You should log off and go away.

"Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery."

Good thing for you that the Phillies are committed to meaningless baseball for the rest of the year.

I thought you said there was a joke in there somewhere?

#teamjoeytallywacker

My life is great. I really enjoyed sitting down with my family today and watching Chicago's point guards shoot 5-22 from the floor.

"I have full confidence in my teammates to execute that play because we had run it so many times."

Derrick Rose wishes he could jump that high.

If nobody said anything, I would have thought that was Bryant Reeves.

This is true.

Look at Markieff's teammates. They can't believe he got a rebound.

It's like they forget losing to VCU, Lehigh, and Mercer in the tournament three out of the last 7 seasons.

This is a bit ahead of schedule—usually it's not until next month that Duke fans get mad while watching mid-major teams on TV.

Lucky for the defendants, Lindros will forget all of this ever happened by tomorrow morning.

Suing a journalist over an anecdote will prove to everyone that Eric Lindros isn't a dick.

We're just so jaded to political corruption now. This should be a career-ending scandal. Take six digits of dollars in bribes, then circumvent the democratic process with absolutely baldfaced chicanery. But there'll be no repercussions whatsoever. None.

Last night, before dozens of fans wearing Rams gear...

NFL teams get an insane amount of corporate welfare and the dirty little secret is that NFL games aren't even that fun to attend.

Oh cry me a river! The Bulls won 200 championships with Jordan, the White Sox have won, the Bears have won and the Blackhawks are STILL winning. Bitch, moan and complain! You're almost as bad as Boston fans. But you're still way better than Seattle fans.