I hate that I think i would really like to be friends with Taylor swift. But damnit I think we would get along. CAT PEOPLE UNITE.

I often wonder how the supremely wealthy are able to keep themselves from buying ALL THE KITTENS AND PUPPIES...

'Question: Do hetero women ever say the following things:

I think it looks like this:

I had never heard of the banana body type. I'm just picturing a very tall, jaundiced person looming over me.

I couldn't focus after "Paul Newman." He and Gregory Peck are the only reason I watch old movies.

...OK, full disclosure, I think this guy sounds amazing and would totally start a correspondence with him if I were single. He's an absurdly honest nerd with enough knowledge of history to make subtle Jonathan Swift references, who's so focused on not being a creeper that he recommends that interested ladies arrange…

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this person works as a computer programmer. Or is a computer.

#notallhockeyplayers? Anyone?

There's lots of things that go up in risk after age 35— but that's less about carrying the child than having older eggs which have had more exposure to various things and also just been around longer and so had more time to mutate or degrade. Risk of Down syndrome, for example, increases, and doctors generally want to…

this. i'll be in a nursing home and be like FINALLY A STABLE ENVIRONMENT, I'M READY FOR BBS.

52 is not that old. I'm not sure if I'll be ready to have a kid when I'm 52.

The same way racists co-opted the skinhead movement ska and oi.

"If the Third Reich was so bad, it would have been toppled," Um, what?

If you haven't read the brilliant comic http://hipsterhitler.com/, I highly recommend it.

Fine, fine, I will read the goddamn Nazi hipster article if everyone insists on talking about it all the time. BUT FIRST. Nipster? No. It sounds like a racial slur or a defunct music downloading program. The obvious term is Adolf Hipster. Why do I have to do everything myself around here? How stupid are you, Rolling…

I'm just upset because I seem to be "ducking" all the time.

"Gurl 2nite imma stick my dick in ur bacon"

I'd be a horrible interviewer. "What's your favorite cartoon? Oh mhmm, good choice. Do you like mustard or mayo potato salad? Very interesting. Would you like to go get ice cream? WHY NOT LET ME LOVE YOU WE COULD BE HAPPY TOGETHER"