My grandfather became a gunrunner after the war and had a Filipino spouse outside of his American family. It's a weird story but explains why he likes Asians and my grandmother thinks they're all sleeper soldiers waiting to take over the world. The terms "Jap", "gook", "slant eye" and "Oriental" were pretty common in…

Since he's a drummer, maybe he will sleep with a bunch of politicians' spouses and make government crumble from the inside. That's a master plan if I've heard one. The cat takes power

Scents provided by Candie's

Please god may they take the initiative and include When In Rome's song "The Promise" in the soundtrack. Bonus if it's the Sturgill Simpson cover as they fall in love looking in each other's eyes.

Albeit Macht Frei: The Movie, THE RIDE

My grandfather fought in the Pacific theater in WWII and he said Battleship made him feel nineteen again fighting aliens with a newly enlisted Billie Holiday

Luther was on in Phoenix and now I'm in southern California where PBS is, well, interesting. A ton of original programming that is really not very stimulating. AZ's public radio sucked so much compared to LA (and nothing compared to Chicago) but their late night was pretty solid.

God bless the unabashed finger food people of Western New York. May you forever lick your fingers in public

My dad voted Obama into the Illinois State Senate while my mom alternately thought the world was out to get Saint Sarah Palin. I know the world has gone terribly wrong when my NPR loving dad said "Crooked Hillary" the other day. I loathe the idea of her in the White House for a number of reasons but the term "Crooked…

I just relocated but I could always count on Luther at 3am because when you're too drunk to turn on your laptop, PBS and DCI Luther would be there for you. Keep your New Tricks marathons. I don't know who watches those. A crossover Rick Steves/Luther show where they join Interpol would be the greatest public…

The Grayhound station in Nashville is where every southeast Asian couple recently married is waiting in full wardrobe to depart somewhere. I'm assuming a honeymoon but have no clue. LA's is literally in one of the worst places to be yet also next to American Apparel's warehouse so there's a hipster dive in the middle…

A friend gave me a cd from a band called Nunwhore Commando 666 just because of the name. My mom asked a lot of questions.

Everything I have insured is always doused in brandy. Especially my wife

I grew up in Kentucky where if a place didn't have bulletproof glass and serve King Cobra you knew you weren't having good chicken. Plus everyone working there must be missing a finger or eye and seem shell shocked or at least a bit off. Then it's good chicken. Screw hipster and foodie chicken joints.

That's how I feel about Buffalo wings in nice company. Halfway through eating delicious wings I realize no one is classy or attractive eating wings.

It pains me every time my sisters and their ditzy sorority friends declare they love Greek food, especially flaming saganaki and calling a place authentic. That's like saying your favorite Mexican food is a gordita. Delicious but american

God, I hadn't even thought of him. He'd be such an awesome Booster Gold. Booster was always the funniest DC character in my opinion.

Uh hmmmmmph!!!

Whatever matches his teppan grill kimono and Bud black crown bottle

What? You tryin' to take a sandwich to the Meat Suite!? Not on my watch bub and stay away from my Skinz bar. Skinz movin' in