MiniTruth has already scrubbed this from the historical record

“flying around the court with flubber on the soles of their shoes”

I mean, not THAT good.

“It was crooked Hillary that brought these ships here with their plague rats. SAD!"

I would imagine Emily meant to reference the negative ethnic connotations.

The statue’s face has had less work done to it that the real Melania.

“Park’s that way, chief.”

I assume it’s because Berry was such a fanatical tape-eater that he figured he knew better than anyone, even the guy doing the read in the moment.

McMahon sneeringly referred to him as “America’s midget.”

Over/under on how many think that Deadspin (they think it's a singular identity) was the one starting the chanting?

Yikes.

This sucks. All the best to him and his family. Hope to see him on the field real soon.

Zion better be careful

Like I needed extra reasons to drink today.

“Stephen A. Smith no longer invited to Kevin Durant’s birthday party.”

*Steps forward sheepishly, hands Sprochete a lighter, steps back sheepishly*

Wait. Is pantomiming drinking tea the national symbol of England?

“Speak for yourself!”

My greasy, horrifying visage thanks you.