So, like, six hours ago.

My foot just fell off thinking about it.

A vowel past a sweater.

I look forward to them trading for Wil Meyers, who then wins comeback player of the year. They’ve got “Triumph of the Will” all cued up.

Dear family of the recently deceased,

For funsies:

I think the most notable thing in Olney’s first tweet is just how fucking miserable baseball was in Pennsylvania in the '30s.

Once these scrappy underdogs get a life size cutout of the widowed former stripper wife of the recently deceased owner, and can remove clothing from that cutout after each win, there’ll be no stopping them.

I genuinely thought this was in response to the Jail Blazers post on this site earlier today.

This is an ugly, ugly truth.

Anybody else itching to watch some baseball?

Good to see everyone still celebrating Tiger’s Masters win.

Excellent reference.

Nobody tell him about the Molinas

“I am no hitman”

He should want to go with “injury”, because there’s a much better shot that someone will take a flyer on “guy who was hurt” than “dude who ain’t got it anymore”.

I will *never* understand the obsession with patterned carpets in hospitals. It’s a fucking hospital, if you insist on carpet, get beige. 

I do that with my *own* car. I need it just often enough that it’s an issue, but nowhere near often enough to devote brain space to remembering it.

Justin Morneau is sitting next to him. In 2010 he took a knee to the head sliding into second to break up a double play. The concussion ended the productive part of his career.

This sounds crazy, right? The driver is the one taking the money, you’re the one giving the money. How can the person taking the money be the customer? And what does that make the person giving the money?