If not, a season would last five years.

This would have killed in the ratings if NBC showed any other countries besides the U.S. during their broadcast.

Infowars? Daily Caller? 

In fairness, the only reason Fox doesn’t want her is that she doesn’t like Trump ENOUGH.

So... when Fox has decided they don’t want you what is the next rung down? I mean... does she now set up a table on a street corner and do a show?

But is Joe Flacco’s mattress elite????

How the fuck does Seaside Heights make this list? Does Barry like Giannas and Gabbys in lamé thong bikinis and high heels?

Could she maybe join a minstrel show?

As a person who grew up in one of the listed towns (actually grew up there, not a shoobie), i don’t think i’ve ever seen anyone list AC as the best at anything other than highest populations of hookers, drugs, and gambling (not that there is anything wrong with any of those things)

Atlantic City on top? AC is Camden with gambling and an ocean view. And Ocean City can’t be ranked second because it’s a dry town. Keeping Stone Harbor out of the Top 5 is an abomination. Turn in your beach tags, Petchesky.

He just misses the old, pure days of graphic design.

The titles for all Mushnick columns should really start with FWD: FWD: FWD:

It’s gonna be pretty funny when Clay Matthews finds out he just got a roughing the passer flag for this. 

That’s college. You can hit the snapper in the NFL. 

Took the words out of my mouth. They were silent until the team started paying rent on the fucking cellar

Hey, but they were right on that illegal formation when the Texans were taking a knee at the end of the half though!

This feels like a coup against Elway loyalists 

I used to play bass for Wall Street Sex Dungeon.

Here’s the tone, Kirk is not only bad at his job but he’s a terrible human being to boot.  Just because he’s mentally ill doesn’t undo those two facts.  

You could have saved yourself the typing of two paragraphs and just commented: