“If Philly’s rebuild continues to fail for five, six, or seven seasons, it almost cannot fail.”

2018 headline: Russell Wilson Is Finally Getting Laid

Had Winston held out this long, the media would rake him over the coals.

You say this as a joke but... I really think that’s the case.

So moral of the story is don’t get drafted by the Knicks?

Format 90%

If Chris Berman claims any ball is “going all the way to (insert suburb on the Ohio side here), it’s geographically incorrect. Just wanted to make fun of Berman before anyone else.

Gross......

or

Here is an ad from a late 80’s Playboy

There is no “hit or miss”. There is “hit or forcible catheterization”. I’m going to be such a good parent someday.

Tell that to my autocorrect.

As my ex used to say- a bad blow job is better than no blow job. Even a lousy attention is apreciated.

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

It means stabbing the barista and robbing the till.

Weirdly, this account is followed almost exclusively by Camptown ladies.

Good ass-Kinja.

I cannot wait till 2016 when we find out what ordering a small coffee the Trump way means.

For his next trick, Billy Hamilton will steal second base while hopping on one foot.