Somehow I've got to go with the one to start the second half of the Super Bowl, down 4, with Peyton Manning potentially getting a short field to go up 11 if the kick fails as ballsier.

Ever?

That's the ballsiest onside kick you've ever seen? How old are you, child? I've seen a team onside kick to start the game, score, then do it again. I saw the Saints start the second half with an onside kick in the Super Bowl. Onside kicks, unlike you, weren't born yesterday.

I swear to god if they sue I will make it my life's work to plaster the their likeness and that of their children everywhere so that world can marvel at what fucknuts they are.

He's got a point. They should follow his route and marry an insanely rich woman, collect $165K from taxpayers annually, play poker during congressional hearings, use twitter to tell people how to behave, and support your children through their career path as a Facebook blogger.

"For God's sake, keep its hide moist until we can get the helicopter here!"

"Mattingly! I told you to shave those sideburns!"
-Montgomery Burns

If you close your eyes, I bet he sounds just like Mark Teixeira signing with the Yankees back in 2009. No one expects him to come out and say it's about the money, but don't try so hard to come up with other reasons.

Howard Beck: "But I'm sick of the NBA. I want intellectual stimulation. I demand to be moved to the arts desk as a literary critic!"

12 Reasons Howard Beck Left For BR (click next to begin slideshow)

Roger Goodell Hates How the Staged Bird Seems, M.I.A. Sings

Cincinnati TigerShrimp.

Uh, actually it's because the game they play, and their unique talents with it, generates billions of dollars of revenue.

"Thousands of dollars for writing a couple of words? I'd have taken an entire game for that!"

And then the message slowly faded away, which should perfectly prepare Michigan fans for the rest of their season.

"On the other hand, black, purple, and gold look so cool together."

Reports that an unidentified body was found stashed beneath the brick remain unconfirmed.

Whatchu talking about? Willis?

Because 'Murica. If you can't afford the medication, then you must be poor and therefore not worthy to breathe the sweet air of freedom.