Shit ... running is natural cause next thing you know they'll trying to put ill fitting gloves on your hands making all sorts of wild claims.

"I wouldn't read too much into this."

Footnote: Please, people of the world, stop taking videos in portrait mode! It makes the world a worse place.

The boards behind the batter says 'losmets.com' but I read too quickly and thought it said 'lolmets.com'. Still would have been appropriate.

Something is hinky. There are over 100,000 votes for the Carolina Panthers....are there even 100,000 Carolina Panthers fans?

Don't get me wrong, I love them.

Why are you calling him a jagoff? At worst, he's a Nair-do-well.

Even worse is how Dennis Leary is looking nowadays

QB: Underdog

"Wait... I don't....wasn't I suspended for this?"

"I'd have Zeus at QB, obviously, with Mercury playing two ways as safety and WR, and probably Ares at DT."

Quarterback: Boxer

This is a nice departure from the usual behavior of Pujols and Colon, who are otherwise considered baseball's two biggest assholes.

Nothing wrong with a little gut check now and then.

Apparently not all the fans respect Rivera

He was merely saluting tonight's first pitch by the guest of honor, President Skroob.

Good presence of mind to keep his hand on the bag while writhing in pain.

That would be a boat, bro. This amazing technology that lets you float on water.

For the lifetime achievement category.