If Deadspin's lasting legacy is Fat Ichiro than it has all been worth it.

Unless we are going to use this information to round up and orderly dispose of Yankees fans in "camps," what is the point except to show that people are unimaginative provincial front runners?

with a soul crushing defeat - to lose the division - in week 17.

Yup, droves. Whole generations of people turning their backs on baseball. Dumbass.

The Mets bullpen sees this as an insult to their honor and pledge not to throw a strike for the rest of the season.

Hideki Irabu 2: Electric Boogaloo

I am mentally ill with similar issues to the dude here. Luckily, my family has never had to write a letter like this (with the exception perhaps of an ex-fiance here and an employer there). When it comes to borderline, schizophrenia, and bi-polar disorder, I am well aware that the people around are always on…

Forever and always the #1 threat to America.

My god, if these two had a love child it would be...wait, it would just be Rick Pitino, never mind.

If he was a prodigy, he could defend himself either with wit or his clubs. Instead, he would probably just cry and ask for mommy. Fuck children.

Ironically, he bashes Mike Trout for a whole paragraph and then describes him in the last one as the player he wants. Shitpickle.

Is that CC? Shouldn't he be in the dugout?

They couldn't have gotten him eating some Spicy Hot Wings?

Nope. You don't reach over onto the field of play, period. Ask poor Steve Bartman about that.

Is there a number that we can call at the MLB offices to rat on Michael Pineda?

I know the urge to slam Pats fans is overwhelming, but Buffalo couldn't beat New England playing 13 a side with 6 downs instead of 4.

Where is Rick Monday when we really need him?

You're thinking of a World Series share (the bonus money) - the players vote for that. The ring thing is, as was stated earlier, that everyone on the roster during the year gets one.