Yakkity Sax perfection.

Wait, you buried the fucking lede here; 2.3 million people watched the ESPYs? How is that even mathematically possible?

4-10? Starry eyed optimist, I see.

Strong taek.

Steroids can be so cruel to a 40 year old body.

So he's a ballet dancer?

Clemente needed a better plane to fix his injury. (too soon?)

In a dump truck delivered by helicopter. Duh.

July 27th was the day I was supposed to marry the craziest woman on earth until I came to my senses. I will always enjoy this day even if Santa Claus drops dead.

"The Giants are nowhere near as disappointing as the Jets."

No, I stand by my statement. I wasn't speaking of what teams they tend to root for but what horrible traits they take on...Yankees fans have an overdeveloped sense of entitlement and hollier-than-thou attitiude, like the invented the damn game because their team spends so much money. Jets fans have won one Super Bowl…

That kid would be much happier in this:

You have obviously met ZERO NY Rangers fans, Drew. They combine the worst traits of Yankees and Jets fans. Let that soak in for a while (like warm piss).

Thank you, Kurt Cousins.

Vertical videos are not only a scourge on humankind, all perpetrators should be rounded up, placed into camps, and orderly disposed of for the greater good.

Yes, ladies, never date or fuck a guy with "dick" right there in the name...

What does Art know, he's not even a monk, and Darrell? He's black, not green. They know nothing about names.

You get joy from hating on the Mets? Do you kick puppies and pull the wings off butterflies too? Sadist.

That's not fair, my Cane Corso is a mush and at 120 pounds thinks he's a lap dog.