They come directly from Linus, who overheard Lucy taunting Charlie Brown after kicking practice.

The question, "how could the feminist pirate move fail?" contains its own answer.

I thought Darth Vader was her real father.

They're coming from inside the house!

The invisible hand of the market triumphs again.

She needs Dr. Nancy Snyderman and a nice bowl of chicken soup from The Peasant Grill.

A delightful letter to someone she is about to murder.

Governor Scott Gawker is the best thing ever to happen to Wisconsin since Jezebel Cheddar®.

High Value Targets in the War On Women®

Finally, the Nobel Peace Prize goes to someone who really deserves it. Too bad it isn't the Nobel Peace Prize from days of yore, where it was revered and respected by all, because that's the one she really deserves. Not the Obama Crackerjack Peace Prize we have today.

Jennifer Lawrence is an idiot. Wendy Williams has called this one correctly.

"I don't have anything to say I'm sorry for," says Jennifer Lawrence.

Just another pointless fight in the War on Women®. Time to get back to the battlefield.

Whatever. We own everything and control your job, by and large. So there.

We have a dude like this in our neighborhood. He's a smarmy douche who keeps his big dogs locked up and drives a Mercedes convertible.

Why, I'd be delighted to have a dinner party in your honor, with plenty of delicious food, and you're welcome to take whatever you'd like, if during the entire soiree we can take nude photographs of you and post them on the Internet.

I agree wholeheartedly that men and women are equal, particularly in the sense that no matter your gender, sexual orientation, religious beliefs or economic condition; if you don't take any nude photos, there won't be any on the Internet.

You might just have well put "Dear Penthouse," in front of this article.

I always wanted to see some hot Buffy & Buffy-bot action.