Decade? Try a year.

Obviously, they have known each other less than six months, marriage and all.

Or: You’ve spent the entire day at some conference, networking and panel-ing, shaking hands and exchanging business cards. . .

gross

I need you to give back all of my music

Just wait a few years, kid. You’ll soon know that chocking your chicken is a lot more enjoyable.

Good thing you blackened his face and de-invented Google.

God, I bet the smell of Garnier Fructis, Wonderstruck, vagina and Axe body spray permeates those places.

Ah, yeah, I know that technique. I do it after I do a few curls, just so the other guys don’t think I’m weak, or somethin’.

The sexiest sext I ever got was “I really want you in my vagina.”

...and now that you’re married to him and know him a little better.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah... Me and Orson Welles? I love Welles, and have sat through some shitty semi-bios, but that was the worst of them all. The guy who played him was what? Close to 40? Welles would have been 22, 23 at the time.

Vodka and vermouth is not a martini, no matter what James Bond tries to say.

Hot Topic went public the same year The Craft was released. Safe to say they were very popular in 1996.

Ah, yes, the problems of the privileged and/or out of touch.

If you don't put vermouth in the mix, you're not making a martini.

I noticed...