If I were a Big Ben rubber duck, I’d want to end it all, pooping aside. That thing is like The Fly.

I’ve never found any sex writing to be “good”. Some have been more realistic, or honest, but I’ve never read anything that struck me as erotic.

“Garb”? Who besides fat neckbeard comic fanboys uses the word “garb”?

My mentality is that of a samurai. I would rather commit seppuku than fail.

Pfft. Please. The people will not rest until Ronald Reagan is on every bill and coin.

Fun fact: Hedren’s acting career was pretty much derailed by Alfred Hitchcock because she wouldn’t fuck him. Apparently, he was a big, fat, immature skeeve.

I thought Yoko’s solution would be to stalk the water, harassing it until it finally gives up and goes to California.

Sorry... what were we talking about?

Ugh— the mom cut, which is essentially a reverse-mullet.

Thank fucking GOD! I have a pantry full of Nilla Wafers and a fridge packed to the gills with Cool-Whip. I, currently, have no idea what to do with them.

There is no such thing as subtle British humor. I don’t know where people get that idea. Look at Monty Python, The Goon Show, The IT Crowd... etc etc etc. There is nothing subtle about any of it.

I respect the hell out of a good barber (or hairdresser, as the case maybe). It’s a true art. Anyone who thinks otherwise is plain wrong.

But I love being able to choose which commercial for a car I will never buy I’ll sit through!

Is it just me?

Both look a little like Emmanuel Lewis, to be honest. . .

Sure, but do you really think those people would walk out of those salons with the tips?

That’s like $60 worth of diarrhea or constipation.

What a true corporate hero!

See, here’s the thing... you live in Europe, where stuff like that actually matters.