The Secret of the Ooze

Oh, she is worth every penny. I mean, she is critical to the well being of the British government.

Does Patti Labelle use Turtle Wax on her legs?

I suspect this one will be featured on a future “Horrendous Restaurant Customers”

Uh, how else will we know what women of means think? It’s not like I can just ring any townhouse buzzer on the UES and ask some rich biddy to fill me in.

I got 8 “hots”. My self-esteem grew by milometers.

Hey, it’s cool. They tried to fire Pope John Paul II for missing too many days due to his Parkinson’s disease. They don’t discriminate.

It’s corrective sarcasm. If I have to explain it, it ruins the moment.

(psst— if you shave your face, you don’t appear as you would naturally - that’s the point. Any person who can grow a beard, yet shaves, should be rejected by the South Carolina DMV for “being in disguise.”)

Actually, men without facial hair (if they can grow it). If you shave, you’re altering your natural appearance, therefore in disguise.

I always suppress audible laughter when I see a couple of his fat, NYPD-rejects in their imitation satin windbreakers “patrolling” some subway platform.

This is “the alarming and dangerous new teen trend you HAVE to know about, at eleven” porn.

So we can therefore expect an upsurge in overweight Midwestern women in Winnie The Pooh embroidered overalls?

Is it a trend in Ukraine to make it appear your nostrils are bigger than they are, Herman Munster-style?

I think we’re getting off track here. I think the main point here is John Lennon was a fraud, a hack, an asshole and an abusive father and husband.

I seem to remember them banking on some people never getting out of their overalls . . .

I don’t know. Not knocking an addiction or suicide, but you’re a pretty big asshole for leaving your family in the lurch like that.

Kurt Cobain — my generation’s John Lennon. A person of very modest talent, canonized because he died by a gun.

I have to disagree. She might be a fine actor, but I can’t stand her in this. Or how she was in season 2, at least.

That was Steve Carell’s character on TDS from the start, though, and he was on for ten minutes a week. If Uzo Aduba goes onto do other things without being so damned hammy, I will applaud. But right now, she and whoever is writing for her, need to cool it with the Dane allusions.