my tears of shame and regret have always worked for me

more like roger badell.

I hate to be that guy, but I don’t believe for a second that you hate being that guy.

Jon Stewart: “Tommy...you cheating fucker.”

Your dog could help protect your child.

The most impressive part of this feat is that of the 4 people filming it, they all had their camera’s oriented correctly.

But FYI, you can dislike Courtney Love without being sexist. She’s just a piece of work. I remember seeing an interview with her years ago where she went on and on about how much better of a musician she was than her husband. Even if that’s true, which, whatever, is not the point, who the fuck says that about their…

Ehhhhh, I want to give the benefit of the doubt here, truly. When it comes down to it, I know I wouldn’t be comfortable knowing that one of my daughter’s day care workers hates being there. I’m not asking for it to be their pride and joy or life mission, but as a parent, it would concern me. Especially given how much…

Bobby, everyone knows that he was not just a bouncer, but a COOLER. Which is like a bouncer with a promotion. I have watched this movie way too many times.

He should get off your lawn, huh?

Possibly? I was stunned when I found out- but I was, like, 13.

Yeah I’ve had friends towed by them as well. It’s pretty much a racket down here.

Real talk: Advanced Towing is scumbag central. I don’t think they’ll hire you unless there’s at least 50 people who would go to jail just to punch you in the face.

Holy crap. I clicked on the video and knew exactly where she is at (sign me up to be an investigative reporter, ESPN. I have a college degree, am in good shape, have all my teeth, and live in an apartment). Before everyone absolutely rags on Britt here, let me play devil’s advocate for just one second.

Could be another example of Megyn Kelly caring about issues that directly affect Megyn Kelly....

i'm personally a fan of

Butt Window Spice

This article is way more informative and self-respecting than the 900 articles TechCrunch has released so far today, as each of their writers sees who can get his or her tongue the furthest into Tim Cook's ass.

"I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words... When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly wise [disrespectful] and impatient of restraint".