seems kind of simple. they stopped to piss at a gas station. drunk and rowdy bros kick down bathroom door for funnies. security guard(s) pissed and asks for money for damage. bros say nos. guard pulls gun and says gimme money gringos. hands over wallet. guard says fuck it and keeps whole wallet. fin.

I’m worried for the day that people no longer get this joke. It’ll be our “What’s a VCR?” moment.

People missing the point will try to point out that she apparently was only using a pistol at the time, so likely not a type of gun that is currently being targeted by gun control advocates. But the real point is the disconnect between the dream—I will use this to protect my family!!!—and the reality—that it is far…

“night on the town” for this woman=8 pm church service followed by a glass and a half of white zinfandel at Barb’s house while they talk shit about the other’s women’s ‘slutty’ church outfits.

For real, good for Molly and fuck this hater ass couch jockey. How much of a salty stank monster do you have to be to fucking write a multi paragraph long email to a television studio because a woman didn’t meet your exacting standards of ******conservative****** in a dress and necklace that could be on a mannequin at…

She was kind. I honestly wanted her to rip that person a new one. How dare they think it’s ok to contact someone over their appearance and they seem so personally aggrieved like their day is a little worse because of someone's fashion choice. It’s like the person that tells you to smile like you owe it to them. And…

Clashing colors?! No. Magenta and turquoise live together in harmony, you craprabbit! Learn to use a color wheel.

You want to know what broadcasters want to say when criticized by viewers or listeners? “I don’t call you at work to tell you how to flip the burgers, honey.” A meteorologist has studied long and hard for that degree - and having to meet all sorts of appearance expectations from television producers is a pain in the…

Every time I see a story like this it make me love my husband a little more. For all the times he makes me cringe while doing it, he is Mr. Gets Involved In Shit. He calls 911 more than any person I’ve even met to report things like debris on the freeway. He once made a huge scene a restaurant bolting over to a…

I will always cherish “rotting pumpkin timelapse video”

I can see it now, a young Jason Voorhees pod racing his way into our hearts...

It pretty much is. I mean, the Rio rapists posted it on social media and people are still saying the victim is lying... and people also questioned Jada. So obviously, if even video doesn’t confirm rape, only other men can confirm it.

You’d think somebody could fly a plane overhead first. Dropping in unexpectedly on a cartel weed farm probably wouldn’t be the best course of action.