people ask for an opinion but then refuse to accept. i love that. you can lead a horse to water....

I’m constantly amazed at the number of times I’ve tried to warn customers away from a dish only to have them order it anyway.

I used to be a manager of a bakery and got questions like this all the time. Oh, no, don't buy the birthday cake, it has mouse turds in it.

I always find it weird when people ask questions like “Are the cookies good?"(Subway story)

I’m going out for a drink. it’s a beautiful sunny evening. Curtis Mayfield. Get down.

Yes. Use Google.

Banned foods include everything that make this wretched existence worth suffering through for another day.

Yeah, you could watch Netflix with your Xbox party. I think I did it one time before it shut down, but it was really cool.

he wrote a book that lots of people like to pretend to have read. That is the movie’s audience: people that want to appear cultured and well read.

Banned foods include alcohol, coffee, soda, dairy, meat, pasta, starchy grains and refined sugar.

Fraser, who would not know fun if it peed on her head

Not only is it bullshit, it’s also on the list of Absurd New-Agey 100% Science-Free Cures that people will throw your way as soon as they hear that you or someone in your family has cancer. Fun times.

“When you’re acidic, you’re toxic and a breeding ground [for germs],”

My urine is so clear it’s probably drinkable!

All right, that’s it, humanity. Get on the bus, you are going to day camp because you have clearly run out of things to do.

Didn’t the Xbox 360 version of Netflix used to have a feature like this? I’m glad someone did this for traditional web browsers; I’ve wanted something like this but didn’t have a 360.

David Foster Wallace really looks like Jeffrey Tambor in that top photo.

The David Foster Wallace Movie Gets Our Vision Of Him Right, At Least