I actually just did this very recently. I was approached during our holiday party by a new director of another department, and the director was a big pull for our company. He told me that he would like me to come to his department, and did it directly in front of two of my current supervisors. The reason he did this…

The hat is aptly named because no one but white people would wear it.

So many things.

What about that makes me a hipster? Do tell.

Being a honky fuck who jizzes his Jordaches over what is “urban” and “breaking the law” sounds like a very internet commenter thing to do. And don’t stop there-you are only irked by these “criminals” because they are black, and are, in your eyes, “getting away with it.”

Saw 12 o’clock boys at the Roxie Theater in SF, while drinking tall cans and shooters. Shit was dope. Still got a stack of “I’m a grown ass man” stickers from the promo bag they sent me.

The good ol’ Confederate pope hat

Remind me again, why I need to “get on twitter”, as my friends constantly tell me?

As a kid I thought it was pretty cool that Larry Centers had over 100 catches as a fullback. (and 99 catches the next year.) Centers ended up with over 800 career catches! How the fuck is that possible?!

Yes you do. Free speech does not mean “Freedom from Consequences.”

In this case, oyster means oyster mushrooms, since they listed out about 5 other types of mushrooms.

Only “Ass” Smith (Durr hurr) could make going 19-19 before getting injured and replaced by a backup (permanently) with no experience an actual thing.

It is a fucking crime that Anthony Fasano scored 4 touchdowns last year. Travis Kelce, who I had in about four fantasy leagues, and is clearly a top 3 TE, had 5.

2013, Jesus Christ, that Colts playoff loss was horrible. Not only was blowing that rediculous lead just pure shitass fuckery, but that fucking td Luck scored by fumbling, grabbing the ball, and just jumping over the pile while not actually getting in the end zone is the absolute lamest way they could have won (and…

Clearly a Jovan Belcher reference, but does anyone else remember that story about the fan who was “missing” and was actually killed in the parking lot because he somehow ended up in someone else car?

Hence me saying I hadn’t read it yet.

Motherfucker is when I’m comin on strong but haven’t gone full steam yet. I’m with you, but when I start rantin’ and ravin’ the ‘muhfucka’ comes out like a sucker punch in a Worldstar video.

Starred based on the title alone. Will read fully when I’m not at work. I’m so fucking SICK of hearing these on-the-fence, tapioca-pudding-chest-cavity-filled motherfuckers going “Well at least Trump is honest. It’s SO different.” OR “Hey, at least he’s speaking the truth.”

I think this has only gotten worse with social media and texting. No one feels obligated to carry out the most basic social etiquette. I would rather you tell me no, than tell me you’re going to come and not show up. or string me along for weeks and then back out at the last minute. Also, I can tell that you don’t…

My gf put a magnet on the fridge that is a “list” of all the things we’re not supposed to eat. It’s very similar to this list of banned foods. Under them I wrote “Fun, Elation, Enjoyment, Pleasure, Fun, Amusement, Fun, Fun.”