LOL too late, fuckers. The baseball gods are displeased and I hope you’re unceremoniously dispatched by the Nats ASAP. 

Joe Westworld

Apropos of almost nothing here, I noticed tonight that Houston Astros can be rearranged as “Out soon: sharts.”

“You sayin’ there’s a room available?”  - J. Tomsula

...that’s a strangely specific thing to always have said.

Daryl Morey, notedly averse to information

This is Deadspin, we all float down here.

When you’re up 28-3 and the other team comes back to steal your soul, that’s a “Thrasher”.

Matt, look on the bright side...I’m sure this feels better than being up 28-3 once.

Looks like Peterson finally learned not to go for the switch.

Luke-warm take: It’s ok to be annoyed if a guy refuses to shake your hand before the game.

I like Richard Sherman - I don’t think he’s asking too much to have a respectful handshake before the game. Why not?

I think Bosa’s attitude had less to do with old college grudges than with the well known fact he just hates the browns. 

tell you what, dabo swinney’s gonna have one hell of a time turning this franchise around

$5M to go away (assuming he gets paid out for his 2020 deal) AND he doesn’t have to continue with that dumpster fire of an organization?

Sounds like a pretty good way to start the week.

5am? My Lord that’s early. I can just picture Snyder there in his office, across from a barely awake Gruden, stirring his coffee with a sleeve of gatorade cups.

Bill Buckner, God rest his soul, cringed at that error.

It’s a good thing such a thoughtful and talented Quarterback is playing for team known for taking advantage of other truly generational talents like Andre Johnson and Jadeveon Clowney.