Users: Nah I don’t want to install updates. (2000-2016)

Stephen Colbert and John Oliver are the only people worth watching on television at all.

I can just see the tweets: “I Do Not make DOODY in my Pants. MY Pants are ALWAYS CLEAN!!!! and snel like Manly bulloks.

I’m sad to say that, now into my 40s, I identify with this way more than I would ever want to... it’s like shart-roulette these days.

Trust you?  Shouldn’t you be showing us, as a Missourian?  

reverse that

Fucking bronies. 

The CVT killed Nissan.

“But the fact that I even have to wonder if a Corolla is as good as a Mazda 3—the perennial enthusiast’s choice for small sedans and hatches”

Don’t watch the video y’all

Hello fellow crysturbator!

Do you really think he stopped doing speed in the 80s?

and the sound of you jerkin’ it.

Look, I know you flat-out don’t like him, but I’m sorry, he’s quite clearly not in early-stage dementia.

Go on, explain to me how he’s not in early-stage dementia. I’ll sit here and wait. 

*Hoists freak flag*

I believe 99 times out of 100 it’s some variation on “the car goes or I go.”

It’s the oranges man.... Don’t you get it. THE ORANGES!

Somebody never went to a Catholic school

Proposing eliminating funding from the education budget for Special Olympics and opposing a bill that would lower the number of women who are killed and injured by domestic violence, all in the last 24 hours.