I don’t remember my mom being friends with the parents of any of my friends, and it didn’t even occur to me that she should be. It’s hard enough to find friends without the added pressure of aligning social circles with your child.

This grown-ass lady made herself a goddamn unicorn dress. And wore it to work.

Saw this earlier and all I could think was that it looks like a sentient breadstick.

i...don’t know?? but thank you for bringing me back to this hilarious thread!!

The only thing surprising about this story is that he did anything at all for the non-Ivanka daughter.

I’m a bad person for chuckling at “Justin Long”. Or just lacking in maturity.

I’ve never understood the criticism that it glamorized heroine use. The dead baby alone still traumatizes me. When we walked out of the theatre we all wanted to smoke approximately 6 packs of cigarettes, but not one of us said, “heroine looks awesome.”

I married my husband because he looks like Ewan McGregor’s younger brother. I even get him to talk to me in a Scottish accent when I can’t reach orgasm.

I think he is actually using this fake rubber hand! It’s the exact same color.

What exactly does it say about me that I did in fact click on this story, knowing I would have to look at multiple horrible close-ups that made me gag, and am still commenting on it?

WTF is the point of being teetotal if your face still ends up looking like you drink a fifth a day?

It may have been the biggest crowd ever going by jeans size.

Garters?! Too fancy for a Real American like Donald.

See also: dresses. People think that I wear dresses all the time in order to look fancy, professional, and stylish. The real reason is that when you pick a dress, you don’t need to worry about anything matching, and (when you’re at home at least) you can lounge around in any position and still be comfortable.

I think giving women oral is really the simplest thing in the world: If your partner likes it keep doing it. If they ask you to do something, do it. That usually works :D

Also please don’t assume you are a sex god because you do oral. I know what will get me off and guys be like oh you just wait until I get there and I’m like hahaha stop you’ll probably do it wrong. And they do it all wrong and I don’t come and they just can’t accept that their technique needs adjustment.

That only works if the dog isn’t determined to get out. If they are, then they’ll just bulldoze through the pain and get stuck outside of it.

Clinique has had a colour like this (black honey) for ages. It is amazeballs on everyone. Glad to see someone else picked up on this and offers more options!

zach braff is on my list of hot celebrities. he’s right up there with john mayer.

I also like Lord Westwick w/o scruff.