Jake Gyllenhaal also wasn’t a Marine.

Any self-respecting parent of a preschooler knows that when you’re reciting e.e. cummings, you have to change the words just a teensy bit for maximum bonding power, i.e.:
i carry your fart

The contents of her purse included a loose $100 bill. Who does that?!

Yes, that was an excellent plan. Enroll in the military, get yourself killed in action, just so that Lord Buttface will say something stupid to your wife. I would try a setup like that only I’m not that psychic.

This is one depressing-ass Dirt Bag, Jesus Christ.

that is so brilliant. I’ll never watch Bojack again without seeing Chip Gaines!

Chip Gaines is essentially Mr. Peanutbutter from Bojack Horseman, I just realized.

are they really dressing him in an ill fitting tshirt and SWEAT PANTS?! He looks like he doesn’t even bathe. HOW IS HE A LEADING MAN?!?!

None of these videos have been working for me. I still don’t know how to say twat.

kevin hart’s wife should put all his favorite stuff on the top shelf

Kevin just wants a woman who knows how to ship via UPS or FedEx.

Like I said to my daughter, if I ever play a trick on her it will never be nasty or harmful and she will always laugh or have something enjoyable at the end of it. Like the time we tricked her into thinking we were just having a nice breakfast for her Gran’s birthday but really we had arranged for us to go to…

Vicki Gunvalson’s greatest hits gif thread!

I will say, however, that I’ll miss her at peak pissed level when she’s screaming like a banshee.

If I may post this here, the new “Lana Del Rey” is just as moody and depressing.

Look what you made Kim do.

Good grief.