That right there is why I can't hang out with coke heads. So many crazy ideas and thoughts that they feel the need to share on a continuous basis.

+1, wow.

+1

I think this is what happens when someone starts believing their own bullshit. Or as my mother would say, "Look kid, if bullshit were music you would be a brass band. Now stop fucking around and get serious." They just buy right into it and as soon as you do that, down you go.

I'll take an upgrade to Patrick Sharp, thank you very much.

I'm proud of my Italian C Cups as well but you don't see me sending emails out to everyone I know.

+1 tank full of cheap gas and a carton of cheap cigarettes, please.

Nope, he will expect YOU to provide him with cake and ice cream from here on out. Little bastard.

Love you. +1

I can't find them either.

Some of the kids in the neighborhood and me and my brothers were building a tree fort in our yard. We were using the neighbor kid's tools. A fight broke out about how to build the fort and the kid starts trying to take his tools home, things get more heated and he starts to swing the hammer at my older brother, I am…

1. This is not me.

Considering the cubs lost 2 of 3 to the Pirates, let's say it was Alfonso Soriano, Zambrano, and Aramis Ramirez.

Fat or not being a Cubs fan will make anyone sad.

Chatham County Punch will knock you out.

Here come the water works. Jeez. Well played, gentlemen.

How many helicopter chicks did he nail?

WHORE!