Barbaro, you are a horse. You can not read. These will not be read TO you.

Michael's revenge was showing Janet how he tips.

@ClueHeywood: Next up, watch me crush this rabbit.

This has made me far more happy than it should. Congrats Kige!

@WhatWouldTebowDo?: +1

I read this with the voice of Steven Wright in my head.

@Fuzzy Dunlop: There is the COTD, folks. Well done.

We have a job like this in my company. I have been asked if I would consider it at least 4 times. Previously I had good reasons not to take it. All my previous reasons have disappeared so finally I told my boss, "Look that is the job that kills your career. You can stop asking me."

It has been only 2 weeks, but it had been 20 years since I went 24 hours without a smoke. So I am hopeful, and I literally take it one day at a time, like any addict. Just for today, I won't smoke. I can make it throught he next 24 hours and then I am free to do what I want. Also, I think through why I feel the…

It has been only 2 weeks, but it had been 20 years since I went 24 hours without a smoke. So I am hopeful, and I literally take it one day at a time, like any addict. Just for today, I won't smoke. I can make it throught he next 24 hours and then I am free to do what I want. Also, I think through why I feel the…

It has been only 2 weeks, but it had been 20 years since I went 24 hours without a smoke. So I am hopeful, and I literally take it one day at a time, like any addict. Just for today, I won't smoke. I can make it throught he next 24 hours and then I am free to do what I want. Also, I think through why I feel the…

@Gourmet Spud: +1

Best of luck to you. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you. I quit smoking recently and I spend half my day thinking about leaving work and buying a pack. I can avoid smokes for the most part but you can't avoid women. They are everywhere and at some point you will have sex again, so how do you not relapse?

@VTBen: I have to concur. Maybe Big Ben, too.

He was a winner because he was a dick. That's not to be flip: if there's anything we've learned in retrospect about Jordan, it's that his competitive streak bordered on the pathological.

Well, she's young and dumb, now he just needs to fill her with...

@wheresbicki: At some point every girl regrets not being born with a few extra vaginas.

@FavreFAIL: +10% of the population.

@AzureTexan: I think if he pays for all that you are going to have to put out. Those are the rules, right?

Whitney Young is still a public school.